Hi, Is your Antique Refrigerator Running?

Today, Melissa and I found an ad on craigslist attempting to sell an antique refrigerator. Naturally, we responded.

We've changed the names of the people selling the fridge and hidden their sources of contact.

To: ********@craigslist.org
From: Lenny Oscar
Sent: Mon, March 29, 2010 4:50:14 PM
Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

Hi,

I'm interested in purchasing an antique refrigerator; would you mind telling me some more about the one you have available for sale?

Thanks,
Lenny

To: Lenny Oscar
From: ********@craigslist.org
Sent: Mon, March 29, 2010 4:50:14 PM
Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

well its in great shape works good looks good and is from 1930s-40s and its white thats about all i can tell u unless u have any other I ?s i will be more than happy to tell u just call us at ***-***-****

To: ********@craigslist.org
From: Lenny Oscar
Sent: Mon, March 29, 2010 4:50:14 PM
Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

Sounds great. What are its dimensions? How big is it, would you estimate, compared to an elderly male?

Thanks,
Lenny

To: Lenny Oscar
From: ********@craigslist.org
Sent: Mon, March 29, 2010 7:29:11 PM
Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

well i do not know the dimensions of it, im 5'10 and my husband is about 5'8 and it is much shorter than him, hope that helps thanks
Sara

To: ********@craigslist.org
From: Lenny Oscar
Sent: Mon, March 29, 2010 7:31:48 PM
Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

If a man approximately the size of your husband were to assume a fetal position, do you think he would be able to fit inside?

Thanks,
Lenny

To: Lenny Oscar
From: ********@craigslist.org
Sent: Mon, March 29, 2010 7:32:07 PM
Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

no because my husband is 230 lbs but a skinny man yes

To: ********@craigslist.org
From: Lenny Oscar
Sent: Mon, March 29, 2010 7:35:28 PM
Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

Hmmmm, that sounds ideal so far; how cold would you say the refrigerator gets? Would it contain all strange smells within its main compartment?

Thanks,
Lenny

To: Lenny Oscar
From: ********@craigslist.org
Sent: Mon, March 29, 2010 7:38:00 PM
Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

It gets really cold, it has a thermostat on it, if you need anymore information call my husband at **********

To: ********@craigslist.org
From: Lenny Oscar
Sent: Mon, March 29, 2010 8:05:58 PM
Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

Ok I think I'm just going to be honest and explain why I need the refrigerator. You see, four days ago my uncle passed away, and while it is not my family's wishes, he desired to be buried in an antique refrigerator as opposed to a traditional coffin. I know it sounds odd, but the man was rather eccentric in his final days, although none of us expected this--well I'll just be blunt here--bizarre burial request. Nonetheless, we all love Charles, and wish to do everything it takes to accommodate his final wishes.

I hope then it wouldn't be too much trouble to ask you to find someone of a stature resembling his (roughly 5'7'' and 110 lbs) to squeeze themselves into the refrigerator to see if it would be an appropriate and respectable fit. Would you mind taking a picture as well and sending it to me as evidence?

Thanks,
Lenny

To: Lenny Oscar
From: ********@craigslist.org
Sent: Mon, March 29, 2010 8:09:47 PM
Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

im sorry i cant do that but i can tewll u the messurments of the inside of it thats the best i can for u here they r the messurments of the inside of it its 3ft 2in tall and 21" wide so he should fit in there just perfectly if u have any thing else u might wanna ask just call us thanks
James

To: ********@craigslist.org
From: Lenny Oscar
Sent: Mon, March 29, 2010 8:16:13 PM
Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

Ok I understand; it was a rather difficult request.

Do you happen to have any antique coolers, by chance? Charles also claimed in his final hours to be descended from a race of Norsemen, and, in accordance with Viking burial ritual, his three cats (Bubbles, Gin-Gin, and Snowball), whom we have recently slaughtered, need to be buried alongside his grave. Because he's being crammed into a refrigerator, we want to use coolers to keep things thematically consistent.

Thanks,
Lenny

To: Lenny Oscar
From: ********@craigslist.org
Sent: Mon, March 29, 2010 8:46:07 PM
Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

yes i guess u can put some plywood on the bottom of it to seal it upwith if u wanted is this some kinda joke or something

To: Lenny Oscar
From: ********@craigslist.org

Sent: Mon, March 29, 2010 10:09:11 PM
Subject: Re: Craigslist Ad

hey its James i was just gonna give u a heads up littlerock police have the emails u were emailing me about the dead cats and dogs and how ur wanting to buy the fridge they also have ur name and will have ur address as well so like i said just wanting to let u know actual talking about how u slaughtered the cats well thats as crime u can and will spend jail time for it so anyway have a good one ttyl